Category: Limericks

056 – All Happy Families…

Feech is acting like a total fud Tony wants him nipped in the bud He sends Chrissie and Benny To plant one TV? No, many! And with his PO, Feech’s name is soon mud

055 – Where’s Johnny?

Feech sees a man cutting some grass So, naturally, he kicks his ass Pauie’s aunt’s feeling sore ‘Bout the new man with the mower So he reminds Feech who’s the top brass

054 – Rat Pack

Tony B’s out just after his mate And he says that he wants to go straight His cousin gets him a job But he thinks that the mob Will still play a part in his fate

053 – Two Tonys

Feech La Manna is out of the clink Meanwhile, Tony fancies his old shrink He goes to see Jen And kisses her again But she declines to join him for a drink

052 – Whitecaps

Tony wants to buy a house by the beach And the one he’s picked out is a peach But when he changes his mind The seller drags his behind Says there’s a contract, and Tony’s in breach

051 – Eloise

Furio is in love with Carmela Even more so than with mozzarella But she’s married to Tony And he respects matrimony So he goes back to where he can’t smell her

050 – Calling All Cars

Despite Dr Melfi’s advice Tony tries to quit therapy twice She says a handshake But T, in a break With tradition thinks a kiss might be nice

049 – The Strong, Silent Type

Chrissie’s brain’s full of heroin fog He can’t tell a brogue from a clog If he weren’t such a jake He would be more awake And he wouldn’t have sat on the dog

048 – Whoever Did This

Tony thinks Ralphie murdered his horse So he goes straight round and kills him by force So then he recruits Chris, Tells him to cut off his Hands and head; it was a wig, of course!

047 – Mergers And Acquisitions

Ralphie’s got a new girl, and she’s fit She and Tony sneak off for a bit She starts telling tales Of what sex entails With Ralph; turns out he’s into weird shit