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Writing things so you don't have to
The “end of the beginning,” if you will, sees Bond escape in a small plane that was hidden under a false horse’s arse in a false horsebox. Most ingenious, I’m sure you will agree.
In which Q briefly becomes a priest for some reason, and just for a change, there are sharks and skis.
BANG! Blood dribbles down. We’re on a submarine. Two sailors sit down and have a game of chess. Then the cups start wobbling, and then a man who used to be in ‘The Onedin Line,’ comes in and goes “Why are the cups wobbling? What’s going on?” And then he pulls down the periscope and he looks through it and goes, “Oh my God, the submarine’s being eaten by a giant tanker!” And then we cut to Moscow. And there’s a man there, and he’s Russian; he’s got eyebrows, you know. And he’s on the phone going, “What, a whole submarine? You’re joking! I’m gonna have to tell some other Russians. See ya!”
“I should have told you, you should never go in there without a mongooshe.”
The bald, cat-stroking, Nehru-jacket-wearing, facially-scarred villain cannot be ignored.
A real highlight was the heart-warming scene in which Bond blackmails a woman into having sex with him under threat of losing her job for something that wasn’t her fault. Classic British values.
Colm Currie 