Project Bond: Never Say Never Again

Guessh who’sh back? Yes, it’s Sean Connery, back as Bond after a 12-year absence, during which his trademark speech impediment enhancement seems to have become more pronounced.

Never Say Never Again is effectively a remake of Thunderball, which was based on a novel written by Ian Fleming based on an abandoned script he developed with several other people, including Kevin McClory. (Confused? You will be.) When the novel was published, only Fleming’s name appeared on the cover, which caused problems, not least because the concept of SPECTRE came from the abandoned screenplay. Eon had to reach an agreement with McClory before the film of Thunderball could be made, and he would later prevent them from using SPECTRE in The Spy Who Loved Me. Because McClory retained the rights to SPECTRE (and, of course, Blofeld),  he was able to make Never Say Never Again without Eon being able to block him (as long as he waited 10 years after Thunderball‘s release). He offered Connery a big pile of cash to reprise the role of Bond, with the film being released around the same time as Roger Moore’s Octopussy.

Bond is getting older, something that is acknowledged frequently in this film but not in Octopussy, despite Moore’s being three years older than Connery. (A lot of this is tongue-in-cheek acknowledgement that Connery hasn’t played the role for some time, and is now back.) The ancient Bond is sent to a health clinic to get himself back into shape, where he discovers trouble a-brewin’. He finds Fatima Blush, a SPECTRE operative posing as a nurse, and she’s stealing weapons! Her pal Petachi has borrowed the US President’s eye to mess with the iris-recognition software that protects some bombs. Then it turns out they weren’t really pals, because Blush kills him.

Bond goes after another SPECTRE guy, Maximillian Largo (whose girlfriend Kim Basinger happens to be Petachi’s sister), in the Bahamas. There he meets Rowan Atkinson, who tells him to go to Nice instead. In Nice, Bond beats Largo at a computer game before being kidnapped by Blush, which angers him so he shoots her with a fountain pen, as you do. Ever the clumso, Bond is kidnapped again, this time by Largo and along with Kim Basinger, who he inevitably has to rescue, of course. The pair of them then track down and kill Largo in yet another underwater fight, which was easier to follow than in Thunderball, but it’s still not a great medium for telling stories. The ending of the film was further let down by Connery’s cheesy wink to the camera.

This is a bit of a strange film, in that it’s not the same as Thunderball, but not different enough to really merit a retelling. However, it’s great to see Connery back to skulking and brooding around with his eyebrows going, looking like he hasn’t skipped a day, which must have provided a bit of a relief from Roger Moore in the mid-80s. Max von Sydow is the most forgettable Blofeld; his cat looks like it is either too big for him, or it was liable to run away, because he grips it very tightly and it looks distinctly odd. The film was developed over a long period, with Connery brought in as a consultant before taking on the lead role again. Various writers worked on the screenplay, including the uncredited Dick Clement and Ian La Frenais, who resued a classic Porridge joke, which was Bond’s best line in the film (see above).

Obviously the primary motivation behind making this film for all involved was money, but it’s nice to imagine Connery wanted to show Roger Moore “thish ish how it’sh done.” Overall it was a worthwhile effort, and a more entertaining film than Thunderball, but still something of an oddity in terms of the Bond films overall.