My Favourite TV Lawyers

Characters on television constantly seem to get themselves into scrapes, binds, pickles and other tricky situations, which require them to contact their lawyers to sort everything out for them. Often, lawyers – along with private investigators, accountants and general problem solvers – make for some of the best recurring/supporting characters on TV. They can be wacky or straight, shady or clean, brilliant or terrible, it doesn’t matter. Here are my favourites, in reverse order. Spoilers possible; read on at your own risk.

7. Wayne Jarvis (Arrested Development)
Wayne is not the first (or is he? It’s all in how you look at it) lawyer from Arrested Development to make this list. When you have a family as dysfunctional as the Bluths, with a matriarch as cunning and corrupt as Lucille, you’re bound to require the services of more than one lawyer. Unfortunately for the Bluths, Wayne was not on their side, although Michael did attempt to secure his services before he took over the prosecution side. An excessively serious man, Wayne was more than a match for Barry Zuckerkorn and Bob Loblaw, although he may be best remembered for presenting a photograph of desert as evidence, only for Barry to declare, “Those are balls.”
Played by: John Michael Higgins
Finest moment: Being the worst audience participant Cirque Du Soleil ever had

6. Maggie Lizer (Arrested Development)
A fantastic character who appeared in only a handful of episodes. Maggie “Lizer-ass-off,” as she dubs herself, lives up to her name, pretending to be blind when she first meets Michael, trying to take advantage of him to learn more about his family, who she is prosecuting. When she returns in the second season, her pregnancy is real, but at the centre of another web of lies. Despite his own shortcomings, Michael realises he is too honest to be with a woman like Maggie, who may well be a compulsive liar, but is certainly a great lawyer.
Played by: Julia Louis-Dreyfus
Finest moment: Having to pretend to be unable to see Tobias as he prowls around her house with his ‘cat-like’ agility

5. Ted Buckland (Scrubs)
Despite his appearance and general demeanour suggesting the contrary, Ted actually appears to have fairly comprehensive knowledge of malpractice law. Unfortunately, his general nervousness and social incompetency do not help him in his legal abilities, and spends much of his time as a servant to Dr. Kelso. His deadpan outlook on life and perpetual bad luck are usually funny, often verging on sad, but walking that very fine line rather well. The fact that his job is probably one of the more depressing within the legal community – attempting to prevent mistreated patients or patients who have suffered accidents in the hospital from suing said hospital – probably doesn’t help.
Played by: Sam Lloyd
Finest moment: At the start of an important meeting, his hands slip on a table due to being overly sweaty, and he knocks himself unconscious as a result

4. Barry Zuckerkorn (Arrested Development)
Another lawyer from the OC (we’re not calling it that), Barry represents the Bluths for years, until they can take no more and bring in Bob Loblaw to replace him. He’s generally a nice chap, but not the best when it comes to preparing (e.g. reading plea bargains, finding out the name of Gob’s wife before their divorce hearing, familiarising himself with the case before a trial). It is implied that he has something of a haphazard, disturbing private life, which doesn’t mix well when practicing law. Still, he’s easily the coolest dude in town, and if he ever finds himself on the wrong end of the law, he can always take to the sea.
Played by: Henry Winkler
Finest moment: “Wow. You should be the lawyer!”

3. Saul Goodman (Breaking Bad)
Quite possibly the most competent lawyer on the list, although his dress sense leaves something to be desired. As Jesse so perfectly puts it in Saul’s first episode (Better Call Saul!), “When the going gets tough, you don’t want a criminal lawyer, you want a criminal  lawyer,” and Saul Goodman is definitely that. With a network of shady contacts, a series of hugely enjoyable TV adverts and a desk drawer full of mobile phones, Saul certainly knows what he’s doing when it comes to living within – and not occasionally bending – the law. He’s got plenty of experience in the field, which I hope we’ll see more of after the show ends later this month, with the announcement this week that a proposed spin-off for Saul is moving forward.
Played by: Bob Odenkirk
Finest moment: Any time Saul bursts into a room, usually during an interrogation, he’s at his best

2. Jackie Chiles (Seinfeld)
Jackie first appears in the seventh season as a man for Kramer to approach whenever he has a ridiculous problem. His first episode sees him throwing out adjectives to describe his overreaction to Kramer’s being burnt by a coffee he tried to sneak into a cinema, setting up appointments with Dr. Bison, doing all the legwork, before Kramer ruins everything by applying a balm he was given by the Maestro. Further involvements include a lawsuit against candy bar heiress Sue-Ellen Mishke for walking around with no top on and ruining Kramer’s golf swing, and attacking the tobacco companies after Kramer’s face is ruined by over-exposure to cigarette smoke. He does all of this in a hilariously over-the-top, Johnnie Cochran style manner, delivering almost every line as though it’s his smoking gun in his current case. Like Saul, Jackie seems to be a good lawyer, but the fact that we only see him managing Kramer’s ludicrous claims doesn’t help our impression of him.
Played by: Phil Morris
Finest moment: His wicked smile as he remarks that he’s been wanting a piece of the tobacco companies for years

1. Lionel Hutz (The Simpsons)
Just about every bad lawyer stereotype in the book comes from, or was at least perfected by, Lionel Hutz. How he makes a living as a lawyer is a complete mystery (“I move for a bad court thingy,” “That’s why you’re the judge and I’m the law talking guy,” “Kids, help,” etc.), and he seems to have been pretty lucky to stay out of jail himself. He doesn’t have the most secure housing situation, or working situation, sometimes seen to operate out of phoneboxes and live in less than ideal establishments. Yet apparently, he’s the only lawyer a lot of people in Springfield can afford (the blue-haired lawyer is but a pipe dream for most residents), so he gets by, although he doesn’t win many cases. With the death of voice actor Phil Hartman in 1998, The Simpsons retired Hutz and his other recurring character Troy McClure. This is not the sole reason the show subsequently slid downhill, but it was certainly a factor, as both characters (particularly Hutz) served up a lot of laughs during the glory years.
Played by: Phil Hartman
Finest moment: He has many, but I think his accepting a Bart and Lisa babysitting gig in Marge On The Lam, and everything he says and does during said gig, sums up most of what was great about him.